Dear 30-Year-old Me
Nostalgia
Dear 30-year-old me,
Today is July 4th, 2023 01:22 am JST time. Currently working on some assignments for class. After completing
everything,
I am going to continue to self-study a little on Kanji and Japanese Grammar since I want to be able to prepare
for the Japanese
proficiency test in December. But anyway, how are you doing? I hope you are doing great; better than I hope. I
know last week I
did say that I would talk more about some of the things that have happened so far here in Japan, but I am really
having a lot to
think about and I want to talk to you about them.
It’s the last year of my undergraduate career which I still cannot completely comprehend since it does not feel
like I am ready to
set towards the next page of my life. To be honest, I am not just worried, I am very scared. There are many
times when I always stood tall, whether it was going to a new school, learning how to do a task at a new job, or
even graduating from
high school and going
to a CSUSB. I am usually not the type of person to admit these kinds of things because I want others to look up
to me as someone who
is optimistic and strong, but I admit I am really scared. I have a lot of emotions running through my head. A
lot of things that I am
thinking of right now, such as extending my Visa to study a little longer here in Japan, finding an internship
in Japan to gain experience,
and just trying to improve my communication skills as much as possible.
I am also thinking about what I am going to do when I head back home; fill out my grad check, graduate, and
begin to set out to find a
new page of my life to fill in. Still, I have a mixture of feelings right now I feel really lost. Even right
now, I can’t find the exact words to describe what I am feeling and I almost feel like I am just talking
nonsense. But I also know that deep down, everything will be okay in the end. I always tell myself that I tend
to overthink things. And you out of everyone know that this is true.
I have so much that I still haven’t done in the time that I have been here. I don’t want to go back home, and
yet I have people that are waiting for me back home, and that is the sole reason why I have endured so much up
to this point, and now that I am here, I don’t know what to do. However, what I do know is that everything that
I have done here has been something I will never forget. Being here in Japan as both my first and last time
studying as an exchange student, I can safely say that I have no regrets about what I have done.
I have more to talk about, so I will be talking more about this later. But I just want you to know that I am
hanging there, for the sake of your future that I will be living one day, I must be better; I must choose the
person I want to be in the future because that will determine what makes a world better or worse. I will talk to
you later. But take a look at these pictures below, and hopefully it gives you a little insight into what has
happened so far this year. Take care.
Best,
Your 24-Year-Old Self